


there's a hole in my soul (can you fill it)

by isloremipsumafterall



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 22:19:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10500582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/pseuds/isloremipsumafterall
Summary: Before they go to alter time, and maybe don't come back from it, Sara has to say just one last goodbye.





	

The house looked normal, non-descript even. It was just another house in Ohio with nothing special about it and Sara bit the inside of her cheek so she didn’t break down in nervous laughter over the ridiculousness of it all.

 

It wasn’t right for Nyssa to be there, oh there were many times she had a wish that she and Nyssa weren’t part of the League and maybe lived happily in a house just like this but this wasn’t something Nyssa got a choice in. She’d been forced there by the Legion, hell Sara had _helped_.

 

She shook her head to rid herself of the guilt in that thought and walked up to the door, taking one sharp breath and knocking.

 

“Nyssa." she barely got the name out before the door was shut in her face.

 

"We wish for no solicitors." Nyssa voice was loud through the door, still the unwavering confidence of someone who demanded to be listened to when she spoke. The memory of it made Sara's heart pang in the reminder. 

 

How long had it been since she'd heard Nyssa? She’d lost track of days on the time ship, stuck in other periods, they all blended one after the other and left her stranded outside of normal ways to count them. 

 

She shut her eyes, leaning in to rest her forehead against the doorway. "Please. I just want to talk.” She didn't know what she'd say, maybe beg Nyssa to call her beloved though there would be no softening in her eyes when she did so. No affection for Sara at all. 

 

Sure enough when Nyssa opened the door a crack her face was a mixture of curiosity and annoyance. 

 

Sara raised her hand, wanting to smooth away the uncertainty, but Nyssa minutely moved away and it hung in the air awkwardly between them before she let it drop to her side again.

 

She swallowed but it did no good to wet her dry throat and tried to push the words she wanted to say out.

 

"I know this is going to sound like I'm crazy," Sara laughed but it was hollow, "Who knows maybe I am. But I need you to know...if something out there goes wrong for me, if I screw this up in anyway, then I want you to know that everything was still worth it for us."

 

Nyssa narrowed her eyes in suspicion, her lips pressed together and all Sara wanted to do was catch her face in her hands and kiss Nyssa, just one more time at least.

 

“Someone out there loved you.” Sara said softly, “And still does.”

 

Now there was fury on Nyssa’s face, like this some joke and she didn’t care for it all – didn’t care for Sara at all. “Who are you?” Nyssa demanded.

 

Sara snorted, “I’m not sure I know anymore.” She said somewhat bitterly. She reached up to dig her finger nails in her scalp beneath her hair, letting the pain drag her back to the present. “Look this was a bad idea but that seems like my life story so…” She stopped when caught Nyssa staring but this time she was more slowly looking Sara over. “See something you like?” Sara teased, falling back in to old habits easily.

 

Normally Nyssa would have stepped up to her, meeting the challenge and drawing Sara in to kiss and “beloved, I see everything I love”, but this Nyssa – not hers, not ever hers – huddled back in mild horror. “Closeted” Damien and Malcolm had called her Sara snarled at the idea of it which just made Nyssa revert farther away from her.

 

She wanted to punch the door, break her hand on it in her frustration because none of this was right. It nearly drove her to desperation to push the door open and kiss Nyssa regardless in one last attempt to break this awful space between them. Except that would just this Nyssa hate her more she bet.

 

Sara hung her head, blinking back the tears, “I’ll go now. I just needed you to know.” She was tired, a different kind of exhaustion then the one she felt from running after time and trying to fix it. Sara turned to walk away but when Nyssa yelled ‘stop’ she stopped in her tracks, looking back curiously.

 

“I don’t know who you are.” Nyssa began, sounding angry, “But do not come here again.”

 

Sara quirked her lips up in a bitter smile, “Don’t plan on it, don’t worry. I won’t be your problem for long.” Either the world would explode from their attempt or the world would be rewritten and this Nyssa would never have existed. “But if I do succeed,” Sara felt a bout of confidence again, “Then I’m coming back. If you remember nothing else about me when that happens Nyssa, remember that.”

 

It was impossible of course, no one would have clue the world had changed, but it made her feel better just to say it. She walked away, turning her back on Nyssa for what was hopefully the last time she’d ever have to.

 

When all this was over she’d find Nyssa back in her time, kiss her until they were both dizzy from loss of air and then come back to Ohio and burn that house down. Sara smirked to herself, finally having a plan that she approved of that best of all ended with the heroes winning and a girl getting kissed.

 

Nyssa, her Nyssa – the right Nyssa-, wouldn’t know what hit her.


End file.
